Last night I finished up a work deadline with a huge sigh of relief and anticipation – relief, because I’ve been busier than normal for this time of year this past month and anticipation because my next deadline isn’t until May (celebration time!).
But this morning I found myself doing some navel-gazing. Found lots of fluff, so to speak. The one big thing that’s been on my mind is this:
Why am I always bursting with ideas but never DOING much of anything with them?
You see, this is what my brain looks like every single second of the day:
That’s just each second. Imagine all those thoughts wiped out and replaced by an entire slew of new ones, and you’ll have a good idea of my thought stream throughout the day. (The image of my brain drunk on ideas is courtesy of doodling on the awesome, free Paper by Fifty Three iPad app, by the way.)
I love coming up with ideas. I love playing with ideas, growing them, becoming very excited by them.
But the problem is, you wouldn’t know this to look at DONE side of my to-do/to-try list.
I get awfully mired in “non-doing”.
This is a serious, cyclical problem for me. I have a slow season every year work-wise (you’re looking at it right now) and really, that should be the perfect time for me to make all my ideas come alive. There are books to be written, posts to be blogged, artsy stuff to try out, new skills to be learned, blogs to be created, social media sites to investigate, apps to test out, information to be learned.
Why am I not doing any of these things?
So I was doing some serious soul searching this morning.
And then the answer came to me.
I’m getting overwhelmed with my ideas.
It happens all the time with my writing. I’ll be in the middle of a great story, when out of the blue, a character for another different, great story will come to me. And suddenly I’m torn.
Which do I work on now?
It’s clear to me now that I do this with everything, not just my writing. My enthusiasm for a new idea knows no bounds, but when you multiply that by ten or a hundred (usually a hundred), It’s like I suddenly run into a force field that reduces me to non-doingness. I’ll have a 101 things on my I-want-to-do list (this is all stuff I want to do, not things I’m trying to avoid doing) – and I’ll be at a total loss.
Basically, this is usually what I end up doing:
And, mind you, I think I do it awfully well.
Not that there’s anything wrong with Plants vs. Zombies. It’s my latest addiction and I find it to be a real stress reliever.
It’s just that I’m not really stressed these days. Except by the fact that I’m NOT DOING the things I want to do.
So yes, I have the “I Want To Do It All” syndrome. And it’s really bogging me down.
I’ve always found the best way to tackle problems is to just ask the Universe for an answer.
Universe? I’m asking! I’m even blogging about my asking! Please, send me an answer quickly. And if you could give me an answer that’s about a realistic way to actually do all the stuff I want to do, and not just tell me to pick one thing and stick to it until it’s done (aka “the stock answer”), that would be really fabulous …
Do you suffer from the “I Want To Do It All” syndrome too? Have you got any advice on how to cope?